A few moments ago, my good friend Antwann wrote a response to the controversy over Kevin Terry and the leaking of his sex tapes. In these sex tapes, Kevin Terry is caught performing oral sex on a man who is not identified. I heard about the incident, but did not pay it much attention. Honestly, I thought it was sad that he was caught in this act, but it was his response which really captured my heart.
After reading Antwann’s blog, I found myself startled, shocked and consumed with a similar feeling of anger based on events that I also experienced at the hand of the church. I found the same feelings of invisibility to be reverberating through my soul. This beloved institution which I considered home and lifted up as the moral exemplar of society not only hurt me, but my friend Antwann and countless other same-gender loving individuals. The question that rose from out of my heart was “Did God intend for my invisibility?” Did God intend for guys like me to be sat down and silenced? Did God intend for us to be hurt and rejected by people whom we love? Did God intend for me to live in self-doubt due to the negligence of his anointed? My heart quickly cried out a resounding “no”.
For some reason, the following scripture came to mind:
“For I know the plans I have for you; plans to prosper and not to harm you; to give you hope and a future” Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
It took me a moment to realize why this scripture was ringing so adamantly out my spirit. What does this have to do with what Antwann wrote and how I feel?
After contemplation, I came to the conclusion that this promise of God was ringing from my spirit because I needed to be reminded that despite what others may claim to be my fate, God only knows the plan and that plan means to prosper and not to harm me. God has “wrote the vision and made it plain” in my heart. This is a holy communion between God and I.
Therefore, God doesn’t intend for my invisibility. God doesn’t intend for me to be silenced and live in dismay for the rest of my life. If I am called to his purpose and live my life to his divine will, the plans that he has for me can be for me and will be manifested. What man says cannot deter me from what God has for me. God wills me to “proclaim the gospel to all the world” through my living testimony.
Thank you Antwann for your continued radicalism and truth. Someone has been blessed by your story.